One day, I looked at my life and I knew life simply
sucked. I knew I had made bad choices, I wasn't aware how bad or how
much was my fault, yet I knew I had played a part in my mess. I looked
around and wondered, "How can things get better and is better even
possible?" My journey to change is still underway and I expect to be
on this journey till I take my last breathe. Yet my journey to
getting clear took me several years. How was this possible?
When I embarked
on this journey I was not looking for clarity, I did not even think of
clarity. Why would I? I knew my issues, right? I was in for a rude
awakening. I learned the hard way that I was not in any way aware of
where I was. The issues I saw, the pain I felt was just on the surface.
I would have to be willing to dig in and get down to the root cause of
my repeated mistakes. I needed to understand why I thought as I did,
felt as I did, spoke as I did, believed as I did and acted as I did.
The truth is I had no idea where to start, all I knew was my life could
not continue in the direction it was. Can you relate to this?
I
want you to know that I am fighting to create my dreams, to give life
to my vision. Everyday I start all over again. Some days I scratch my
head wondering how I will do it or what to do next. Yet everyday I do
it.
I am working in progress, in fact, every day I learn a bit
more and push forward toward my vision of the life I want to live. I
can tell you that I am better today than I was.....why? I say this
because I am not the same person I was. Emotionally I am stronger. I
went from trying to please others to doing what I wanted to do and
needed to do. I went from being weak to becoming a warrior. I went
from being insecure, to becoming assertive.
Sometimes we look for
immediate changes and expect things to go from 0-100 in a blink of an
eye. Yet, that way of thinking, of expecting fast results simply keeps
us from noticing and appreciating the changes that prepare us for the
next phase of our lives. The changes that make us better equipped to
move forward.
I chose to change and it took me several years to
understand what change meant, who I was, what I wanted and why. If I
would have quit out of frustration 'The blogger Sabina Shrestha' would not have existed today...
(wink)
